Dear Mom-Me,

Sometimes being a mom is hard.

When you have to deal with four puking kids, laundry, dinner, & cleaning the house on two hours of sleep the night before it seems even harder. When you have to comfort one child, while cooking, cleaning dishes, and trying to keep the crying baby who so wants to be held happy, then it can just feel impossible. At moments like this all I want is for my kids to at least be big enough to help or keep themselves happy for just five dang minutes.

Then I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t be wishing this time away. They won’t be little forever. It’s at times like that that I have to sit and remind myself of all the great small things about being a mom. Not the cleaning up one year old pukes. But the way that Mason only really quiets when upset by nursing and having his fingers jammed into my mouth. The way that Bella comes and gets into bed with me every morning and the very first thing that she does is rub her cold feet on me to warm them up. How Zach still lets me climb into his bed at bedtime. The way he’ll hold me close and tell me about his day. How there is nothing Ryan loves more than to cuddle on the couch and watch Merlin or Doctor Who with me.

Someday, probably much, much sooner than I would like, they will be too big to need me so much, or well to admit to needing me so much. They won’t cry for me when they throw up. They won’t want me to pick them up and hold them all day. They won’t want to sit and watch movies with me. Or cuddle with me on the couch or in bed.

For some time, they’re going to think that they are too big for all of that. I know that deep down they won’t ever be too big for that, but I also know that that phase will one day happen, and even though I know it won’t last forever it’ll still break my heart a little each day.

So today I will take the hard and sometimes frustrating little things that go with these kids, because when these little things pass it’ll be much too late.

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