“You’re wrong! You’re wrong! And you’re a horrible person! Here facts!! (insert link) See how wrong and horrible you are!”
”No! You’re wrong! You’re not just wrong, you’re backwards and horrible and ruining your child for life! See! (insert link)”
Generally this starts when someone asks a simple question. Generally not the person who is yelling at someone else, that person has usually been scared away by this point, so really you most likely aren’t educating anyone, you’re just yelling at a brick wall.
I see other peoples parenting choices this way “It ain’t my business and it ain’t anyone else's either. I don’t agree with you, but you know what, you don’t need to know that, so I’m just going to sit here and keep my mouth shut unless someone asks about my side of it.”
This is sort of like how I feel about the way some people edit their photos. Your photo looks like crap, you don’t know how to do it correctly, and I would love nothing more than to educate you on the right way to do it – even though you didn’t ask me to.
Can you imagine if someone commented on one of your photos with that? Or better yet if they said it this way “Ohmuhgosh. You have completely ruined this photo! WHY WOULD YOU EDIT YOUR PHOTO THIS WAY??? It looks like utter ****! Man, I can’t believe you just went and did that! Don’t you know ANYTHING about photo editing or are you really so ignorant about the whole process? Gosh, only a stupid person would make their photos look like THAT.”
That would probably hurt your feelings.
(And hello, if you say you don’t edit your photos in anything like Photoshop or Lightroom, Instagram and the like totally count in this)
Actually that would probably make you feel pretty crappy and angry. And all because someone was a douche in the way they shared their opinion or thought. All of your friends would probably jump to your rescue and start yelling for my public tar and feathering. I would come out looking horrible, and probably be unfriended, and in the end would have to apologize, but it wouldn’t matter because deep down everyone will think “That’s that ***** that was so rude and hateful.”
Yet, when moms do the same thing about hot button topics it just becomes a war. No one stops and says “Whoa, _____ that was kind of out of line” or if someone does the war just escalates. And both sides do this.
Why can’t more moms just take my approach to photo editing? Keep your mouth shut until someone asks for your help or opinion.
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