This morning my head is killing me and I’m having this overwhelming feeling that I just don’t like people. This isn’t by any stretch a first time thing. The amount that I like other people is generally directly effected by how I feel.
Today’s headache is effecting the cuteness of Mason. As in the bigger he makes my headache the less cute that I am finding him. So sometimes my toddler annoys me and I admit it. Sue me. It’s not all his fault, he’s teething and the poor dude is miserable. Right now he’s laying naked on the floor and crying. He’s naked because when I tried to put a diaper on him he screamed and kicked me in the chin (not purposely in the chin mind you, he sort of flailed his legs about and my chin was there). I figured a diaper wasn’t worth the meltdown it was causing. He’s crying because I told him no he couldn’t eat my food, that he needed to go get his own.
He’s been at this crying on the floor for like 5 minutes now. I’m not sure he even remembers what his fit is about anymore. In each break of the fit I ask him if he’s done yet, each time I ask he gets started back up.
When he is finally done with the fit he comes and wants to nurse. Honestly, I don’t want to. He nursed all night thanks to the teething, and well, they need a break. Now I’m stuck with the internal debate of which I want more; a break from the fit throwing or a break from the nursing. My headache says that there is no real decision to be made and that girls just need to take one for the team.
After about 15 minutes of nursing I’m deciding that I’m done. I set him down and say he needs to go play with Bella or do anything other than sit in my lap and nurse. I have things that need to get done. (Because somehow it is Friday and I haven’t actually finished a single scrapbook page yet.)
He’s now laying back down in the same spot throwing his lovely fit again. For a little bonus Bella is in here throwing a fit now too because I’m telling her that I don’t want to watch what she wants to watch.
If you are asking what the point is of this post, it’s this:
Sometimes life is sucky. Sometimes you are sick and sometimes your kiddo is sick, and sometimes you get really unlucky and they fall at the same time. Sometimes you don’t want to breastfeed – and sometimes it’s all your little one wants. And even though you love your offspring more than anything you could imagine, sometimes you just don’t like them and wish they’d go somewhere other than the floor right next to you.
And all of that is fine. And it’s OK to complain and feel sorry for yourself. Indulge yourself and vent when life gets hard. I can tell you I feel better having got that off my chest than before I did (and in case you think Bella and Mase are just in better moods, they’re currently annoying each other across the room).
There is this thought going around that moms shouldn’t complain. We shouldn’t admit (at least publicly online) that our children sometimes annoy us and sometimes we wish they would go somewhere where we don’t have to hear them. We should just be grateful that we have them and that they are (for the most part) healthy. Even the best most even-tempered and chill mom, and the best and most even-tempered and chill child, get sick of each other every now and then.
Now excuse me while I go nurse the dude for a few more minutes and then put his whiney self down for a nap. Who knows, maybe I’ll go wild and make Bella nap too.