Keeping on.

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Each month I am a little more surprised, thrilled, and overjoyed to find that Mason and I are still managing to keep up with breastfeeding. Never in my deepest imaginings did I ever think that I would still be nursing a child who was already past one year old. Breastfeeding, yeah I knew I’d be doing that, but going past the age when most people stop? No... not me. I just never saw myself as that kind of mom. Zach had self-weaned around the age of one, Ryan didn’t breastfeed, and Bella had to switch to formula before she reached six months. So really I never had to think too much about extended breastfeeding. I just figured I  wouldn’t do it or that it just wouldn’t be an option.

In my mind I figured most babies were like Zach and that they just stopped on their own not long before or after they turned one. I figured any that kept on after that were mainly just because it was the mothers sort of pushing it on them. Boy do I know better now. 

When Mason turned one he was showing absolutely no signs of stopping any time soon. He actually was still primarily breastfed. Now, almost three months past his birthday and he is still mostly just breastfed. I don’t mind. Sure, it would be nice if he no longer woke me up two - three times every night to nurse. And it would be nice if I could leave him with a baby-sitter for any real amount of time, but he’s just not ready. It’s not even just comfort nursing (why I figured most babies past one nursed) he just doesn’t have a desire to eat most table foods.

Sometimes I feel like I should be pushing him more to slow down on the nursing, mainly because so many people seem to think that I should and they keep telling me so. Most of the time though, most of the time I just love it. Mason is our last baby and this baby stage won’t last forever. And why should I force him to stop doing something he so obviously needs just to please everyone else?? His doctor sees nothing wrong with it, he actually encourages me to let him continue nursing as long as he wants to. And this time we get together, it means so much to me. Even the being woken up several times a night I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love the feeling of him snuggled in next to me. I love that he needs me. I love this bonding. Does that make me bad or weird? Is it me pushing nursing on him? I don’t think I am, I mean he gets so excited and happy when I tell him OK, we can nurse now. The absolute look of joy and excitement he gets. The way he looks up at me while nursing with eyes just filled with love. You can’t convince me that me letting him nurse so much still could possibly be a bad thing.

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