Breastfeeding Bella was so good, but so bad too, when she was classified as failure to thrive I said enough. I had pushed and pushed so hard to give her JUST breast since Ryan wouldn’t nurse at all despite me pushing and pushing. Bella’s failure to thrive felt like a slap to the face. I said no more. If we ever have another I’m just not even trying.
Fast forward a little bit and bam! we are having another baby.
I stressed, I agonized. I said no, not even trying.
Then I would get to remembering how much I loved that closeness.
It wasn’t until I was actually holding Mason in my arms that I said yes, of course I’m going to breastfeed him! How could I even think I wouldn’t??
And I am so glad that I finally decided that.
Nursing Mason has been wonderful. Just like the great experience that I had with Zach. When he nurses and looks up at me with those big eyes my heart smiles, and when he needs to be touching my face while nursing and looking at me I just melt.
I am so so proud that he went six months on just breast milk, and even still he is primarily a breastfed baby,
The very basic fact of it though is that nursing Mason has gone so far in helping to heal all the pain, angst, and scars I carried from Bella and Ryan’s breastfeeding experiences.