Just a little post to give you a little chuckle over life with Mason this morning.
Lets start with when he second wakes up (the first time he wakes he gets in bed to nurse and sleep for another hour… or two… ):
“GOOD MORNING MOMMY! I love you, Buttcheeks!” Are you ready to get up and eat some breakfast and start your day? “Nooooo…. I stay Mommy cozy bed. I swee-sie (nurse) BOTH sides boobies all day!” No, why don’t we just get up, Mommy has to go potty and eat. The baby needs food. “No, no baby need food.” Then he jumps out of bed, runs to the bathroom. “I go tee-tee potty first! No Mommy tee-tee potty! MINE POTTY!”
Then we move to breakfast:
“Yo-yo! I want yo-yo milk!” Ok, well get your yogurt drink and I’ll put it in a cup. “No, no cup. No yo-yo milk cup. Mayme CAREFUL. No mess yo-yo milk.” No dude, your yogurt is going in your cup. You ALWAYS make a mess with it. Come on you can pick out your cup colors. Do you want a blue, green, or yellow cup? “BLUE! BLUE!” Get out the blue cup. “No blue cup, Mommy! I drink GREEN cup! GREEN!” OK…. switch cups. “NO!!! MOMMY! BLUE CUP!!” Fine, use the blue cup. I am not touching another cup. Now do you want your yellow lid today? “Um….. huh?” Ma’am. “Huh?” He giggles. No, say ‘ma’am.’ “Ma’am!” Good boy. Do you want your yellow lid? “OK!” Get the pieces of his cup out, pour the yogurt drink in… “WAIT! No! Want pink milk! No yo-yo milk!” Dude, the yogurt is in the cup, the pink milk train has left the station. What do you want to eat? Cereal, waffles, or a bagel? “No…. want cookies.” Cookies aren’t an option, dude. “Yummmm, cookies yummy my tummy.” Still not an option. “Cookie cereal?” TOTALLY not an option. Ever. “Ugh. Moooooommy….”
“Mommy, I watch doggy movie (Lady and the Tramp).?” Not right this moment buddy. You know we don’t do movies this early. “Mommy, I watch George.” George is over. “Watch Elmo?” Elmo isn’t on yet. “Mommy! Mommy!” What Mason? “I go outside?” You kind of have to get dressed first. You can’t go outside in a sleep shirt and a naked butt. “My buttcheeks cute.” Roll eyes. Yes baby, your buttcheeks are cute. He goes in the back of the house for a moment, comes back with a pair of underwear backwards and over his sleep shirt. “I go outside now!” Dude, you are not dressed. "No Mommy, I dress. I go outside. I wear unies." Big sigh. Mase, you need pants and a not-sleep-shirt shirt. And your underwear needs to be turned around. “No, pocket my buttcheeks. Mayme buttcheeks like pocket.” Fine leave the pocket on your butt. Putt on clothes. He goes and gets pants and a smaller sleep shirt that is actually one that is normal size on him. “I wear planes today. MINE planes shirt.” Fine dude, wear the shirt. His pants are backwards. I choose to ignore that. He then goes outside to chase the dogs around with his car for the next half-ish hour. Comes back in and brings me the orange paint. “Mommy, I paint. OR-WANGE. Orwange paint. No mess paint!” No buddy, we aren’t painting orange paint right now. “OK! No orwange paint now. LATER.” Maybe. Sit for a minute and then I smell it – paint. He’s painting, on a tiny piece of paper on the carpet, with purple paint. Mase, what do you think you are doing? “I paint, Mommy! See it cute! PURPLE paint. No orwange paint. Purple.” I slap my hand over my face, he has a point, I did tell him no to just the orange. Well, lets at least put your mess mat under your paper. There’s already purple splatters and streaks on the carpet all around him.
The morning and lunchtime continued in that vein, ending with me handing the boy a cup of orange juice and a whole box of Cheese-Its for lunch, because by that point I had given up. After I laid him down for nap I sat on the couch and observed the disaster he had created. There were Cheese-Its all over the floor, and stacked in Bella’s princess castle. There were pieces of waffle scattered everywhere. Every car, man and cartoon figurine he owns was piled in the floor. There were three sets of clothes he got out and rejected, plus, every clean pair of underwear he owns. Crayons and papers scattered about. Oh, and purple paint. We can’t forget the purple paint on the carpet.