That first crush Valentine’s Day.

Be prepared, this Valentine, with it’s cuteness and the boy looking heart eyes with a flower at the girl saying “be mine,” this Valentine isn’t for me.

And it brings out feelings of terror in me…. and make me feel kinda sloppy mushy happy.

I mean don’t get me wrong, I am getting such a kick out of Zach having a little crush. I try not to be too embarrassing mom about it, but lets be real, this is my first kid to get a real crush. Embarrassing mom stuff will happen. Plus, Zach just makes it so easy. His face turns red, he mumbles, and he gets this goofy smile on his face when he talks about her. At first he wouldn’t even tell us her name, he just gave us clues, things like “Her name starts with A and has no M’s or N’s, and only has 4-6 letters.”

It’s not even completely him growing up that scares me. He’s almost nine, and if you ask him about her it’s almost all stuff about her being smart, or nice… or that she also likes Star Wars. Her pretty hair just seems to be a plus to him. His teacher has also assured me that she is the sweetest little girl, and unless the teacher is very much mistaken, she thinks the little girl has a little crush on Zach as well.

This is what scares me…

What if she sees my boy’s Valentine and laughs? Or makes fun of him? What if one of his friends sees it and makes fun of him? He’s pretty vulnerable to teasing. And I’m not ready for first heartbreak. Oh man, I am so not ready for that. He went to bed saying how excited he is about tomorrow so he can give this girl her Valentine, and when I heard that my heart sort of clenched. He is so excited and looking forward to this, and what if this girl totally blows him off and rejects him? He’ll be crushed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone eventually gets their heartbroken. It’s part of growing up. But dangitall, I don’t want my boy crushed. I don’t want to see this light go out of him. And he seems to have no thought that this girl might not like the Valentine and want it as much as he wants to give it to her.

There’s nothing I can do. I can’t be like “Dude, chill a little and don’t get your hopes up.” I just want to grab him close and be like “Aw babe! She is going to love that because it is awesome and you are epically awesome.”