Seven ten to seven fifteen.

Who would have ever thought that a five minute window would become so precious to me? Since giving up smoking I have realized that there isn’t really much you can do in five minutes to justify being alone for those few minutes. I used to have several kid-free five minute breaks during the day… and that didn’t even count the lovely 60 – 90 minute quiet time I got while children napped. I used to spend nap time outside, with a book, and would just sit and read and smoke. Ah… those were the good days.

Now I no longer smoke, so I can’t be all “No! You can’t be around the smoke! Go back in and I’ll be in in just a second!” Bella almost never naps. Maybe once every two weeks, and I can’t get her to understand that she needs to stay in the playroom away from me for at least an hour. Heck, most days I’d be glad for just thirty minutes. Also, in a twisted joke of the cosmos, Mason is AWAKE during Bella’s quiet time. He naps during the morning and then again from four to five. All attempts to change this have not worked. So even if Bella does nap or stay in the playroom I still have Mason up. This means from 6:30 am to 8 pm I get no break from kids. None. At all. If I got to work and see other adults during the day this wouldn’t be so much of an issue. When I work, I work with kids. Lots of kids. But I’m still around adults too. Fourteen and a half hours of solid nothing but kid time is rough.

But… to save my sanity I get this five minute window. The boys and I leave the house every morning at 7:05, and it takes about five minutes to walk to the point where I send them off on their own. That means I get five minutes from the time I leave them until I get to my house of peace and no kids. It’s not quiet, I live at the busiest morning school intersection in the area, so it’s full of car and bus noise. But. There are no kids. I get to just drink my coffee and enjoy no one calling “MOM!” or fighting or whining or asking to nurse or wanting to show me something.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and am devoted to giving them the majority of my attention when they are around me. There’s nothing I love more than staying home with Bella and Mason during the day and spending the afternoons with the big boys. But those five minutes of peace mean, well, sanity to me.